Thursday, July 31, 2008

ok today go sch forget bring nearly everything.... forget bring notes n tutorial so i kope y.k one go do... lolol she keep making me laugh.... lolol after tt went to play pool at least adnan blanja me heng sia we draw 3-3 from 3-0 winning become draw saded...but cuz the white ball go in so he win... well came home slept awhile damn tired... later gg do oc... weee tmr presentation must get A sia if not i sure can drink until i die lolol ah ben jio me go run at like 10++ but i cant go out cuz parents did'nt let... Sorry ben maybe this weekend... then friday i needa go for poly 50 trg how fun xD well heck lah just run for fun only... then this weekend maybe bros coming mahjong n drinking.... well i dont know... i hope i can win some money left very little for this week liao T_T sad life sia me...

well today i msged her she's studying... hope she takes things seriously... well i'm not tgt with her so wat can i do?? as a frend just encourage her but i think my words are like shit to her... cfm one... then after tt yea i slowly will drift from her... i will like enjoy single life for awhile before jio-ing her back but i dont know when?? b4 or after her bday??? maybe wont even jio anymore... haha well her favourite was " the future will tell me everything" xD

Labels: I Need More Money

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

ok lets see woke up freaking late!!! 12.30 lei then end up i realise NO MAID!!!! yay but wtf new maid come in the same day haiix... oh well go sch for electronics... had fun then after tt got lab test... cb my % error qns wrong... everybody 2% i 3% sia sad... maybe my eye stem see wrong haha ok lah after tt went to eat with aaron n hong jie they like saying they are the only str8 chinese in the class n stuff but well just listen to them lor suddenly the topic = naruto manga LOLS.... funny sia...

after tt went to play pool at student hub... bumped into ray there haha he was like saying abt this new kid at idw forum... haiix some young kids dont understand i guess... haha wana conquer whole of sgp id4 scene but wan ppl to go there n challenge... no fun sia... more of like defence campaign haha

ok my pool game sux nvr won 1 game at all.... after tt rushed to meet sj leo ben to "study" lah but we slacked at mac for 1hr then go liao lols played pool for 1hr oso.... today i am damn sad n emo... smoked half packet by myself i think quite alot... well after tt we half way at pool... ah ben smoked i think.... could smell it... but dont know... he got the temptation to smoke lah... haiix but i think he's a good guy that hate smokers... well its damn funny lah i can suan him for all i wan but end up i'm still smoking zzzzz well he say he wana try to tell his kids nxt time that smoking is bad n stuff.... but his motivation not to smoke was " the nxt stick may cause lung cancer" haha but i think someone has got to motivate him to do well in his studies dont wana see a brother end up like her.... i really wana help this bro of mine but the only thing i can teach him is engineering mechanics cuz we both study mechanics module weeeee

after tt leo n me walked home after letting 2 173 pass cuz i was smoking....then we walked home i smoked 4 sticks more.... haiix end up by the 4 stick... i feel nth liao.... just too emo... we talked abt stuff n yea the conculsion was!!!! for those brothers i tell u all at the nxt mahjong session... <---- ma de sound like tai tai sia we all LOLS reach home...

for the 1st time in a long while i dota a 1hr 40 min match.... fucking hell sia so long.... but the game got kick sia woots haha it was a good game... now on my bed blogging updating soon gg to emo cfm!!!

well.... as u all know the last part of my post is always abt her... but today i only have this to say... i have come up with a conclusion for sure in a state of mind where i'm not drunk ( maybe abit cuz i drink vodka) but well i'm sure u n me will both be happier this way

Labels: I'm Sure Of This Conclusion

Monday, July 28, 2008

i tell myself i want to move on but i cant... why??? why!!!!! this feeling is damn sucky.... life is unfair... selfish is wat we all are.... oh well i dont know wat to do... i feel so lost... maybe i shd take a break n jio u another time?? maybe in sept??

well today go sch auto cad.... whole class pon idea lesson we all go play pool today not my day... i cant in any ball today... all like keep rebounding the 2 corner edges then i hit the ball lightly the white ball go in... waste my fucking time... then read SPGG mahjong competition rules... quite easy to play... daddy asked me to join but i under 18 haha... oh well ate kfc after tt n went home n sleep...

sometimes i wish to talk to u.... but have u ever regard me as ur frend??? seriously i feel like ur play toy now... this r/s i had so much hope on it... but u had to kill me... its like stabbing me with a knife n then stuffing my wound with salt... my heart feels so pain... why

Labels: Why Why Why

i seriously wana kill myself now.... seriously.... i have got nth else to say but i dont know.... i just think that my life is pointless now... thinking back just now... i feel so fucked up.... seriously why am i feeling like this now.... somebody pei me go drink my heart out pls.... i seriously wana cry now i feel like shit.... i seriously wana kill myself.... why is it so hard just to get u? u think u made the right choice for me... well i guess ur fucking selfish.... i dont know how to even put it u caused a big impact on me... now ur gone... i seriously see no point in living... now i know wat shi jie mean by his feelings.... i feel like shit... i feel like a nobody... even a basic start from the beginning u also wana deny me.... wat i have done for 15 months dont even earn that 1 chance??? seriously i'm gg crazy.... i dono wat to do.... i tot i could forget u but i cant... i was wrong.... i'm gg nuts.... someone just peii me drink n smoke soon tmr would be good... if not i'm gg to run away from home soon.... i seriously have lost everything thx to ur fucking decision.... all those who know me thx for giving me advice but i guess this road i have to walk myself.... either i come out a better man or i die in the proccess.... but 1st... somebody pei me go drink n smoke tmr.....

Sunday, July 27, 2008

ok i'm lazy to link li ting cuz need to redo template n redo almost everything so i finalise everything then settle it once n for all haha...

lets see ytd i saw my ahma play mahjong si bei li hai lei... but my daddy quite lucky becuz he from $20 recovered $150 overall he lost $200++ i think ah ma lost $200 becuz she last game cannot think properly my auntie win all 3 so she kena alot of $$ lolol at 3am my ahma asked for 1 more game but my uncle buay tahan so all sleep!!! well learnt quite alot from seeing them play.... weeeee but they way they play ah damn scary sia... pao dua sumore... means if u feed 1 pay for 3 to winner even for me n my frend 1 pay for 3 means like $10 from a person lei weeee fuck sial so ex... haha ok lah mahjong shd be fun n enjoyable for us teens xD....

woke up at 2pm today.... slacked the whole day do auto cad until i cry... T_T damn hard sia haha then played dota n stuff slacked... now posting.... daddy asked wat i learn from ytd mahjong n stuff blabla he teach.... quite ok bah... haha damn fucking tired now.... zzzzz

well i called someone today to talk... i dont know how to say... i just am very emo now... sry but yea i dont know wat to do .... even from step 1 to be frends again u seem so reluctant... why!!!

Labels: Tell Me Whats On Your Mind

ok today facial fucking pain cried at the most painful part.... damn pain lah fuck.... then went home... jiu jiu n por por there waiting for my auntie n mummy to mahjong... my daddy played... 1st round he lost $150 wtf ccb... mummy no difference lost another $150 in the nxt round... in 1 day they both lose $400 total... lolol expensive sia they play.... 2 tai win $7 imagine sia i dono how they count oso.... 5 tai they win $19 n they got some special thing if u conceal hand is $25?? dono sial if like tt zhi mo $50x3 =$150 sia wtf... haiix mahjong is addictive i oso regretted teaching aaron now he like hooked on to it lah ....

ok after tt go timah play pool with leo n justin... ate supper after tt then go home... they still pia mahjong sial how nice... ltr my turn to play lor T_T haha but well maybe may lose more...

well i dont know... i tried not to msg u today.... i know ur carnival was today... tried my best not to msg u cuz i dont wan u to be like so fan with me if u lost.... even if u won i did'nt wana be like disturb u.... well i know tt tmr i wont msg u as well cuz i sure wake up damn late tmr one... haha well i'm fucking emo now... i really miss u.... i dont know wat to do.... is there seriously no hope??? but why?? i dont see any reason why u cant give me a chance to even talk to u like a frend... now i'm a total stranger to u lah... haiix wtf ccb knn i wana swear until i cry.... well gtg mahjong lerh haiix gl hf sure lose money

Labels: Mahjong Is Addictive And Expensive

Saturday, July 26, 2008

ok lets see my oc exam got 78/100 fuck lei 2 more marks then can get distinctive speaker award but nvr haiix... fuck lah T_T after tt went to Guild hse play pool with adnan... lost cuz he in the last ball T_T then yea quite fun to play lah pool but maybe i wouldnt play seriously...

after tt met ah ben.... he was like showing off his muscles n stuff... but his the 6 stomach not hot enuff lei... haha his arms need more lean i guess... but i'm no where near his bod at all haha cant complain abit him... then we reach orchard he wana buy singlet i repaired my hp... then yea mx came... i went to cut my fucking hair until like short.... then we ate nearby ben ate like $8 worth of food n i'm like wtf man.... he borrow $10 become left i think 50c lolols

we went to marina cuz its the only asics retail shop in sgp... ah ben was like over there in love with all the shoes... haha then mx wanted to buy towel so we 2 go around like kuku asking for a towel... she bought a nike towel for her guy frend n i buy a towel for my gym training... after tt went to collect jc's id4 card for jiahao.... then me n mx went home... she keep saying why dont wan go batok n take 173 but guys that know me well shd know bah.... like ben said... there's 2 sides to a coin xD well watched the beach volley ball show... not a nice show actually... not hot gals inside... unless u put the FHM cover gal inside... cfm 5/5 rating one haha the FHM cover gal is only 18 years in jc n she's so fucking hot... at least better than the maxim one...

well i wished u good luck u said thanks... i asked for a chat n i had no reply??? why?? u seriously wana avoid me?? i tell u... i'm gg nuts soon... i may seriously one day just become that dull nick that will be so fucking emo.... this r/s i put alot of hope into it... n it got shattered becuz of a u... i've lost like almost everything... 2 months u know... u got over me in like 1day?? n i 2 months oso haven.... seriously frends who know me... i may just be the quiet guy.... just like shi jie?? haha well he's quiet haha but not a guai kia haha then yea i'm so afraid to love another gal... i try to find another gal but there is like no one... its like my heart would only accept u... but haiix just becuz u think its impossible u refuse to try... tmr got a fucking facial n playing mahjong... i will lose my 1 month's salary tmr... cuz i dont have the feel to play haiix.... i'm very emo now

Labels: I've Lost Everything

Friday, July 25, 2008

wa sian just ended viwawa session n the guy win with 3 tai!!!! i was like waiting so god damn long liao shd be a total of 12 tai lei!!!! full colour + 4 flower n chou ping hu wtf!!!! sian.... nvm haha computer mahjong not good one lah haha

ok today i pon i2e again... nvr did the exam paper so pon shd be better then went for wkshop they tell me the exam paper was to be handed up nxt 2 weeks sian.... but well at workshop helped xy alot.... he screwed up his wheels so i helped him redo the whole god damn thing.... haha ok then after tt went to play lan n pool with aaron hong jie n boss!!! end up 1st round 5 min aaron clear me cuz he 1st turn in all except last ball so pro T_T beat me then played until 8pm weeeee SP is seriously Slack Place... if only SPGG allow students play mahjong lor haiix.... after pool aaron helped me buy ciggy but buy wrong one sumore.... viceroy sumore... if different flavour i dont mind but different brand... no choice smoke it.... was very emo these few days... aaron had to make me more emo on the bus... HAIIX!!!! nvm emo then emo fuck care... i was never really given the chance to get her back.... aaron asked me forget it but well i really love her alot.... haiix .... oh ya i saw wen sze today!!! lolol after so long i tot she not in sp but end up i saw her today lolol....

me n aaron went to holland v to makan... ate the katong laksa there damn ex n not worth but quite nice... haha after tt we at bus-stop i teach him mahjong lolol how fun.... haha after tt went home raining.... caught in the rain... came home choing to toilet.... well tmr khidir teaching me how to properly smoke... but well... just take it as a social thing... i'm seriously fucking emo now!!!! haiix....

well i wanted to tell her good luck at tmr's parent's night or smth like tt but aaron told me no... u should'nt say it if not she will feel ur stalking her.... but its becuz my stupid frend from MI asked me to be his bro and collect report book thats how i found out.... but haiix why is she so formal towards me?? i mean like is there really no chance we can get back tgt? i'm trying to talk to u but it seems ur so formal.... seriously tell me... i have done nth wrong at all.... i did not even hurt ur feelings in this r/s it was u who wanted this... i feel so lost without u.... my life now just seems so empty.... i ever tot of suicide that very day but the feeling then was that u just left me there to die... either way i oso dont have much long to live... i've got this feeling.....

ah well tmr gg to cut my hair n gg out with ben n mx to buy their stuff.... shd i cut it nerd or shd i cut is spiky n nice???

Labels: Wat Is The Correct Way To Smoke??

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

ok si bei dulan liao all the freaking blog skins dont like me so tempo make do with this cuz ppl say the previous one look like gurl.... but cute ok haha well i wish to to talk her but nvr had the chance... wonder wats gg on with her fucking sad

Labels: I Wish I Had The Chance To Talk To You

weets ytd damn funny sial... at night i was like watching tv then suddenly my bro ask "eh nick ah wat u wana be when u grow up??" i suka suka tell him FHM photographer is the best job any man can get LOLS but well true lei they take picture of babes in underwear haha but well i was just joking lolol.... ok ytd i was so fucked.... slept at 5am!!! 5am u know!!! then woke up at 6.30am.... AM LEI NOT PM.... damn fucked at class today kept sleeping... but wat teacher say go in one ear come out the other ear.... passed the fucking re-test... just past sumore... heng ah... Aaron do get 87/100 sial then the rest fail i think lolol.... tried to do my tutorial but stupid yk n adnan keep making me laugh until i cry... lolol haha

after tt go SPGG heard got mahjong table but not allowed for students below 18 sad T_T then end up played pool with boss... he teach me how to play.... i won him for 2 rounds.... kinda new to pool but its fun.... i got alot of tyco shots that look so pro ppl started watching me play.... kinda embarassing.... zzzzz i'm seriously tyco shit u know!!!! haha well beginners luck bah maybe... even mahjong 1st day i keep winning.... haha when we sign out we saw mahjong competition at sp but cant join sial i under 18 T_T NXT YEAR AH!!!! haha if only sp got mahjong club haha i sure everyday regular one lolol

then went to workshop with xy we wanted to spray paint the body kit but teacher not happy with the shape so re-do until no time to spray then end up must do another day.... dead line nxt week only lor.... then came home slept on 173 like a freaking asshole.... nearly missed my stop lolol but lucky got a bunch of noisy ppl on the bus xD haha

well today is day 3 i have not talked to u.... i feel so empty.... seriously smth in my life is missing ever since 6 june..... that day was the last day i ever hugged u.... my life is incomplete n i wan u back.... but this cold treatment ur giving me is smth i cant take... i call this cold treatment becuz i'm pretty sure for 3 days even if u dont check ur phone, its quite impossible u know 3 days... i will be patient.... i swear i will get u back!!! i may be stupid but this is wat i wan.... i seriously wan u n only u... i am starting from step 1... where i get ur feelings back... not when i wana be ur dear again.... like vivian said... do u love the memories or the person... to me its the person!!! i keep thinking of her... not the memories... i cant sleep at night cuz i think of her.... my life is incomplete cuz of one ger whom brought joy n sorrow to my life...

Labels: My Life Is InComplete Cuz Of One Gal....

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

ok fuck it gg to change my bloody skin soon.... change to this one cannot edit it... edit until so hard... links there very empty.... zzzzzz well ok today go electronics lecture was the worse day of my life... joshua keep touching me lah sian.... i feel like so ...... haiix studied on my own... that guy keep disturbing me bored.... went home str8 after tt then went to run... tot i saw somebody but i guess i over imagine alot.... well life sux... i wan her back but i cant... seriously wat did i do wrong??? or wat the hell went wrong??? haiix fucking head ache now... do up this skin until wana cry but its kinda cute lolol haiix i wana talk to her but she like ignoring me i guess.... weeeeeeee why keii linked me so i guess my whole class will invade this blog soon lolol well ah ben wana buy asics pirana sp but its a racer shoe n will spoil the easiest haha but its hot man.... saying that its red n white n the sole is the chioest sole i've ever seen weeeeeeeeeeee

haiix wat to do now... fucking hell

Labels: WHY

Monday, July 21, 2008

well slept at like 5am ytd?? woke up at like 7am today?? my 1st reaction fuck it!!! late for sch... then realise sis got no sch... bro ownself go sch... so daddy could fetch me weeee we went to makan then kena jam... reach sch liao late for test... end up do 10 mins then got 70/100 weeee still not bad ok... ppl do 20 min oso fail haha but auto cad is my fav subject so cant blame bah haha well after tt ideas... got presentation for ca3!! damn nervous lah so many teacher examining us... got 44/50 for my main teacher... but the other 50 is depend on the other teacher haha ok rushed home str8.... was raining heavily... bathed n now in bed posting... gg to slp soon... i have insomnia.... weeeee

well good luck to her netball carnival this weekend... its a prestigous carnival i heard... haha well i know she's only gg there to enjoy herself n not to win haha well good luck!!! well seems like i'm fucking tired now GOOD NITE AH!!!

Labels: I Have Insomnia I Think

Sunday, July 20, 2008

thx leo for pei me go makan ytd night if not stay at home sure bored to death one lolol heng sia lah anyway yeap we went railmall to makan then after tt go 7-11 buy FHM!!! woot actually FHM inside more gal pic than maxim sia lah but maxim those like those dirty stuff... haha ok lah then we slacked at bustop for awhile found out my 18th bday on a sat!!! woootss!!! haha then he went home i went home played dota 1 round then suddenly today i drank more vodka than i expected zzzzz i told my self 2 cups a day only but i drank 6 cups zzzzz wanted to vomit cuz cant slp end up play my psp until slp haha

woke up today at like 2pm?? my ah ma was at my house... not the gambling ahma but my dad's ahma weeee wake up she wanted to give me $10 but i refused!!! i dono why sia haha... but ok bah... after tt i msged sh but she nvr reply me.. guess she busy studying for her promos or doing up her MI mart thingy... jiahao jio me go there patronize his stall thats how i know lolol but heard it would be boring so maybe i may go shopping with my bros 1st haha.... then now slacking in bed doing up excerise gg for a long run later... lolol need to repeat my trg cycle one more week!!! this week better do correct ah time running out for me until IVP liao zzzz i ytd dreamt i got selected but i declined the chance!!! WHY SIA!!!! well dream only... the one i more puzzled abt was wether it was a dream or real life cuz i think i called sh... then i was like thinking if real or fake one sia.... weeeeeeeeeeeee haha

i think i can get u back... i just know i can... i've done it b4... i can do it againn...

Labels: Was It Real Or Was It A Dream??

Saturday, July 19, 2008

kao saturday is a boring day... nxt sat gg facial n mahjong knn sound like old auntie lolol

ok wake up slack n rot slack n rot tot can go out drink beer but end up poly frends all busy sian... haiix seriously rotting in bed oso... wana talk to her but she completely ignore me... fuck sia lah sian... haiix

Labels: Bored Like Fuck

Friday, July 18, 2008

yay today friday liao!!! weee how fun shortest day.... well at electronics my whole last row slping lah... dono wat the teacher talking so we sleep lor... then got oc stupid exam... 20% make me write 5 pages of alcohol topic... write until i cry sia lolol but the thing was my conclusion screwed up zzzz well at least can pass i think...

after tt chiong home to sleep but cant slp... ok the worse thing today... i saw FHM new edition 2 times but i refused to buy saying that i one shot go 7-11 at my hse n buy BUT WTF DONT HAVE!!!! SIAN so bought maxim instead i tot $10+ but end up only $6 lolol ok inside abit plain n boring bah i shd say lolol...

haiix i looked at someone friendster today.. she said face the reality n stop dreaming abt the impossible... well i got a feeling its linked to me... the fact is that i faced reality that u broke up with me... n impossible as in?? wat?? impossible to get back with u?? pls lor nth on this earth is impossible... i already have a freaking impossible task of ace-ing all my work so i can take that stupid diploma +... this is called impossible... i'm no genius in sch.. people in my class all single pointers or like 10 11 12 pointers?? n me?? fuck sia 24 points... can go die... haiix... seriously i wan u back?? is that so hard to ask?? i'm just trying my best to get u back u know... i nvr asked u str8 like can we patch can we this n that?? i have to start from step 1... ur feelings are gone... is'nt step 1 the step where by u get the feelings slowly?? i'm just trying my best to talk to u but ur always so busy... n whenever u give me the replies are like so unhappy with me... haiix i dont wish to give up... not until i seriously see this is gg no where...

ok dont emo liao.. time to excersise for that hot bod... leo jio me go jogging but i just bathe finish sia T_T lols wana beat ah ben's bod soon... i can see a bit of muscle growing in my arms already... going to make it nice n sexy... zzz wats up with me suddenly??? am i turning gay xD?? haha no lah jk just that i wana wear better clothes so yea time to make a hot bod... haha well i'm seriously still wondering... do u still visit this blog or wat?? i'm seriously wondering... cuz if i ask... it would trigger off something... so i'm seriously wondering u know....

Labels: FHM Dont Like ME T_T

Thursday, July 17, 2008

ok today woke up late still can watch anime then go sch... late for 15 mins how nice... well basically can tell my poly frends are like grouping tgt one here n there n i'm like a loner?? well in sec sch i lost all my frends due to all my gf's cuz they say i outcast n stuff dont really mix in... well fuck care lah haiix but at least all my pri sch mates are still good bro's xD hehe

then got workshop class made my body chasis finish with my grp xD i did the most difficult part lor sian... but at least finish haha after tt go clementi take 173 knn bus so long sia the queue all the way to the toilet sia haha then got only 1 173 come more sian but heng i infront got seat haha

well came home today slacked in front of com... frendster 1 gal rejected me as frend request hehe nvm but the thing was sh viewed me?? and yea kinda surprsised and makes me wondering some stuff?? like she still read my blog n stuff?? i wonder if i can like be tgt with her again if i try really hard... cuz like i dont know her feelings are totally 0 now n its like my feelings are still there i still can sometimes even dream of her but well T_T haha its gg to be very hard for me... not same sch n her feelings are like kept away from her so its gg to be much harder for me... well i shall wait bah

FHM and MAXIM new edition is out liao!!! wanted to buy but forget bring money out today weeeeeeeeeeee lolol wanted to jio sj go makan tmr but well he busy with py... so maybe another time... suddenly hand itchy play mahjong well got project to do zzzz tmr got stupid written speech exam haven prepare yet but my topic is on alcohol my favourite heng ah haha

Labels: I Wana Play Mahjong

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

ok nvr went for national finals today had no time after the test... zzzzzz well i ended like 4.15 n they were gg to run like 4.30?? sian sia well retest was kinda easy... study abit i know liao... gg to pia mechics kinetics later...

well today i talked to her in the morning... kind of told her abt stuff n such but well i guess she would take me lightly... even if she would just pass her promos she would still carry on the way she is now... i can cfm this... my words to her are seriously crap... i dono wat to do... haiix someone shine some light on me pls... but well wateva u guys do i wont change my mind so dont bother haha lolol bored ok gg to excersise liao nike 10km run coming up soon n running poly 50 for track team as well zzzzz

Labels: My Words Are Crap To You

sometimes u know there are people out there like me... well i can safely say u dont care abt me n stuff n i can also guess u hardly come this blog so well yea shows how much ur gone from me... its like 2am now... gg to slp soon was revising through mechanics notes... tmr got re-test failed the 1st one due to distraction of u know stuff... lols

well i msged her like a msg lah abt stuff n well i really am worried for her but why?? i mean she has nth to do with me anymore... but why do i still care?? gals are like a double edge knife... u know how to handle her good for u as u wont get stabbed... mistreat her n ur a goner... haiix... well i simply miss her but why?? her sch sure has alot of hot guys one lor but who am i to her already?? hardly see her n stuff... haiix really man that time u said no matter wait for me... but well fuck it liao lah seems got no such thing as eternity love in our teenage years... haiix seriously i tot of jumping before u know... how i wish i could just stop this misery... but u know i try n try... wether i wana jio u back is depend on ur attitude towards me... i dont mean a fuck care attitude will make stop jio=ing u.... so well we'll see bah... haiix shag... trying to slp now.... post more tmr... gg for national schools finals if i have time to go down... juniors all made it 4x100m relay finals haha

Labels: Gals Are Like Double-Edged Knife

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

ok ytd very fun run 7km with my class haha preparing for nike 10km run... their class motivation was this hot gal in front of us running haha lolol.... well guys are like that no choice... we dont wana become gay oso haha went home shag out slept from like 8pm to 8am?? weeeeee how fun haha went dental n screamed my ass out damn pain lah got sensative teeth haha

well ltr gg train again zzzzz SP trackers are like diao-ing me now for not gg to train with them but who cares... IVP trials i make sure i will own them even if i dont get to represent them.... who cares i''m doing this for myself... i will not lose out nxt year at all comers meet... training with tham can really kill me haha

lets see guess u were busy ytd?? msged u nvr got a reply... either that or u dont wish to talk to me since u know i wan u back... but well its hard for me i know but i can do this i believe in myself... i really wish u would do well for ur a lvl n stuff cuz after hearing ur mid year exams its kinda hard to believe that ur studying in the past n stuff... i really am worried for u but nobody would even bother abt me... people would just say i'm plain stupid to wait for u but well who cares its my life... really got the addiction to smoke again but i must resist zzzzz... well seriously i wonder if u fail ur promos would u still retain in MI or just quit sch n go to a poly or smth... i mean if u dont score in a lvl its worse than getting a diploma... at least u got that diploma u know... well seems like i cant take my buisness diploma + nxt sem n my CNC application specs diploma nxt year... cuz my gpa now is like only a 2?? i need a 3?? weeee as for CNC i cant take it cuz the o lvl req is 18 n i'm 20?? wa fucking sian lei weeee gg to rest awhile post ltr

Labels: I Am Really Worried For U... But Who Am I To You?

Sunday, July 13, 2008

ok this weekend was'nt good at all i did'nt run my 5km zzz getting lazy but well seems like my issue with SP track has been resolved... i go for trials n the fastest get to represent them fair n square hehe well time to train 3 months to ivp dono if i can peak by then zzzz trials is cfm in 2 months... means i got 10 weeks to train?? fuck sia how to win daryl sure lose face sia zzzzzzz

ok slept at 4am ytd woke up at 11.30 just to rush for a lunch with my grandpa... his bday mah so well he's n alcoholic n guess wat we all got hangover came home died on my bed... i think i msged her smth but i hope its not offensive or anything... well kinda fun haha...

ok rushing my auto cad work now zzzzz damn hard lah but got the more impt one i later doing cuz needa find a good drawing weeeeeee

i wonder am i doing the right thing by waiting?? i know its gg to be hard on me but well i'm just gg to try... sry bros but its my choice... i really dont wish for her to fail her promos this year... well after talking to jiahao ytd who is in MI as well he seems to hate MI n wana get out of there like crazy?? he's doing very well but he says the environment there sux n stuff well he also agreed that if ur A lvl even manage a simple pass where can u go?? basically i look at my cousin i know... he's a bright guy o lvl score so well go jc get a minimum pass in a lvl but no uni wan him... lucky he now in NS lah so got 3 years to apply for uni but well i really worry for her at times... she said she's gg to study hard but just the 1st exam n she's already like dieing i guess?? i really wish for someone to wake her up n study hard... i wish it was me but everything from me to her now is just crap haiix...

well guess i inherited my grandpa genes well he's an alcoholic who drinks 4 bottles of carlsberg / day... he quitted smoking to drink beer how nice xD... i'm now considered an alcoholic in my family dono why... zzzz everyday my dad will scold me saying i'm a alcoholic n stuff but well its kinda true haha but i hardly smoke already unless with frends n stuff weeeeeeee

ok time to pia auto cad hand drawing update more tmr bah

Labels: I'm An Alcoholic Just Like My GrandFather

Friday, July 11, 2008

ok today slept 1hr only knn sian then saw xin di at the entrance she call me until i blur lolol but she was rushing for class i was rushing for lab haha lolol well still have yet to see that ng wen sze lolol rushed home after school i ran for 173 the worse thing to every happen lols raech home then wanted to go cck but lazy lah watch my bro jump his high jumps finals but well whole family all lazy so dont go better zzzzz bored to death...

sometimes i wonder is she really trying to avoid me or is she seriously busy?? i dont know?? maybe she's busy studying i guess but well 1/2 a year has passed n her so called study hard mentality still has'nt kicked in cuz of her results i guess well i hope for her to do her best n dont repeat 1 year in the same school or even come out to poly...

lonely nerd day 5

Labels: As Usual The Lonely Nerd AhMok

Thursday, July 10, 2008

ok leo ask me post this so yea this was wat happen at fairfield carnival that day



this picture was taken when we were all facing joy's frend... basically joy is the only gal here??? lolol



and this was before the haunted hse not scary one lor haha

well i actually feel kinda lost without her i dont know why but well lets see if i jio her back by end year i treat all my bros that help me go makan big big ah weeeeeee

Labels: Lonely Nerd as usual

ok back from school waiting to bathe well pon intro to engineering theory but went for practical cuz no choice making chasis of the car well kinda fun bah after tt went to imm to pay for the nike 10km race... after tt was lost trying to find my place for the sony customer service asked her but she nvr replied me so yea sad life by the time i found it they closed liao knn 6pm close i reach at 6.15 sian sia haiix well life is unfair

i really wana jio u back but should i?? read something on a frends blog n said 10 things on wat u should not do to get a gal but i already did like 5 of it?? well thinking back i was kinda dumb n stuff haiix damn stupid... well wait until end year when i clear all my exams 1st weeeeee haha ok if i can make it that is

lonley nerd day 4

Labels: Life Without Love And Love Without Life

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

ok life today at mechanics really flew.... besides aaron watching beside me watching porno movies i was over there like studying so freaking hard.... i really wan that specialist diploma in CNC engineering so when i come out of NS if i cant go UNI at least i can find a decent job thats why...



ok the worse thing is today i strained my right thigh.... ran 150m 3 times n actually the pain got too much already so yea cant really run anymore... damn fucked up now zzzzzz only can do hand excersise n body weights no speed running only long jogging....



i've been thinking... is this break really essential for me?? cuz i wish to get u back at the end of the year but well the thing is before ur bday or after ur bday?? cuz i know u haf ur promo exam n i dont wish to be a hinderance to u as well... well i seem to miss u everytime i think abt u... i just cant stop thinking abt u... is my love for u this deep?? its really hard to forget u but i think i wish to salvage this by the end of the year if i can...


well damn tired now gg to slp abit then study weeeeeeeee

lonely nerd day 3

Labels: I'm Going To Salvage This Failed Relationship By The End Of The Year

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

ok well today fucked up every tue sure wake up late one lor sian... everytime 12 + then go sch sure late one lor... haiix so sad... well even though i took 173 to batok i'm sure i can avoid MI ppl cuz its only 12.30?? they sure haven end sch lor... ok electronics sux i didnt understand the teacher at all... just know the basics idea of encoder n decoder n multiplexer... haiix needa buck up on mechanics before i pia electronics ah!!! ok went home makan wanted to run 5km but today i skipped cuz it was like gg to rain then didnt bother... slept n GOT WOKEN UP BY AARON THAT PCB ask me go join nike 10km run since the class like so many going then go lor... since got shirt very nice just go lor haha but pay $30 sian... ok the most surprising thing was she was msn.... ok at 1st i tot she blocked me but well we talked abit lor she seems to have passed all her subjects so far good for her... hope she will do well in year 1 n go on to year 2 instead of retaining or even dropping out to go poly... oh well life's up to her...

just wondering.... since i wana get back with her why am i like so avoiding batok?? shouldnt i be like gg batok hoping to bump into her?? but i'm just taking 173 from clementi everytime... its a longer way i know but well why am i doing this??

lonley nerd day 2.....

Monday, July 7, 2008

FUCK IT LAH!!!! i wana forget abt u but the 1st thing when i went into my sp track blog was MILLIENIA INSTITUTE RUNNER 400m SHALINDRAN PCB SIAN LAH.... I WANA RUN AWAY FROM U BUT IT SEEMS EVERYTHING IS HUNTING ME DOWN!!!!! I DIDNT DO ANYTHING WRONG IN THIS R/S AND I LOOK LIKE THE FUCKING IDIOT WHO WAS WRONG CHEE BYE.... FUCK IT LAH FUCK THIS LIFE MAN.... THE MAN TO BEAT IS HIM?? YES I WILL BEAT THAT GUY FLAT DOWN I TELL U... I WILL BEAT DOWN ALL MI RUNNERS I PROMISE.... I'VE DONE IT TO 2 OF THEM ALREADY I WILL DO IT AGAIN...

today auto-cad teacher scold me cuz i nvr do work.... i'm like one of his top students but i dont do work how fun... idea module sleeping insidee sumore... zzzzzzzzz i wont give up on my studies... i will perservre n go through with this... i must study hard... i have no distractions now besides the past but well if i dont do well now how the hell can i support a family nxt time?? haiix life is unfair... well gtg run 5km liao n study ltr...

lonely nerd- day 1

Labels: Everything About You Seems To Haunt Me

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Am i being stubborn to wait for u???
u said all guys are stubborn LOLS
but well if ur worth the wait why not??
ah well try not to msg u for lets try a week 1st...
i hope i can do this...
maybe i shd avoid batok interchange cuz of u...
i seroiusly may need a break from u i guess...
will not make a move soon
but well i'm just gg to wait for a good time i guess...
from now on i'm single
if a better gal comes my way i shall take her
but i doubt any will come my way
cuz i think ur the best for me....

Labels: Guys Are All Stubborn

ok lets see ah ben stayed over ytd he slept pretty early well i think n drank my vodka while he was asleep cuz i cant slp!!! lie there 1hr keep thinking of stuff zzzzz maybe wat ah ben said is true... she gave u a month to try but it ended in 1 week becuz she feels that the nxt 3 weeks she doesnt wana waste my time?? i hope its not like this cuz feelings must slowly develop mah u cant make it in 1 week i suppose its harder to get a feeling back from someone who already lost it then someone who is just starting out with u ah well ytd i think i msged her when i was drunk i had a faint memory of it cuz the nxt thing i know i was dead on the sofa zzzzzzz leo said we shd work hard... but it was a bastard reason lah xD but well wat ah ben told me made alot of sense can i continue loving her until she one day realise i'm always there for her?? i dont know?? maybe i can?? but well ah ben really told me alot of stuff ytd n yeap the only thing i know was " bro we all say u can give up n move on to find a hotter a gf but it all depends on urself... if u wana waste 3 fucking years of ur life waiting go ahead if she's worth it just wait... but there are many other gals out there" oh well maybe i shd wait?? i dont know?? its my choice... i maybe a fucking damn asshole lah but well i think i shd start studying... i wana take up diploma + in buisness n economics n a special diploma nxt year in CNC engineering but well i think i got to study hard... i guess maybe breaking up with her was to give me time to really study hard n score in poly n not waste my life... if i had gone to MI with her would life still be like tt?? i dont know?? but well if we're really meant to be tgt no matter where we go we can still get each other haha stupid phrase. . . leo told me to forget her by not msging her for like 1 month?? i was like wtf i 1 day oso cannot u wan me 1 month?? i intend to try a week... i doubt she will read this blog since she dont care but if she do i dont know?? well i can dedicate a good testimonial post to her if she just drop a msg in my tagboard lolol ah well maybe i'll try to stop msging this week n msg her on friday when she get back her results bah... bros said that we need time to cool off n take a break... maybe i'll try nxt time like wat yuk choi did with theresa haha oh well i dont know wat life has in stored for me... but thx ben n leo for ytd last minute can go out if not i would have exploded ytd... tried to talk to tham n portia but they were sleeping i guess cuz not online n tham would have screwed me for calling him at 11.30pm... well i was even despo enuff to find her to talk but she did'nt bother abt me so yea... maybe she finds me irritating i guess i dont know?? ben said there is 2 flip side to everything... if u can forget her then everyday go clementi n take 173 home lah longer route but u bo pian everyday see MI ppl in batok keep thinking of her sure jia lat... haiix i dont know wat i did to deserve this... i wonder who really made the feelings go away... it takes 2 hands to clap... was it me for not doing enuff for u?? or was it u who have some other reasons?? ppl said its your fault this r/s failed but i dont really wish to think abt it anymore... maybe nxt time we start anew IF ITS POSSIBLE n see bah

well the aug sept oct hols i'm gg to find work to pay off my diploma + fees... i really needa sort out my feelings now... but only she can help me i dont know why... after that i'm gg to be a no lifer nerd in class 1B21... i was wondering if i score a GPA of 4 would i be happy or would i just be a loner with no gal to share my happiness with?? well life goes on but is it true??

life without love is nothing??
happiness without any gal to share it with sux??

oh well time to study mechanics and electronics need to absorb alot

Labels: Wats Life Without Love??

Saturday, July 5, 2008

weet weet currently back from trg haha well had fun at fairfield today with ah ben shi jie leo dm n the twins.... make me spend $10 lolol well ok today was fucking shag chiong hoon kee like nobody buisness come home father suspect zzzzzzzzzzz can die lolol ah fuck care lah life is unfair life sux... shi jie told me she msg him if i got go drinking i was like wondering wtf man no chance means must drink meh... haiix actually it true that i will drink when i'm emo or wateva but that day no $ no beer at home no nth so just chiong to slp zzzzzzz well today i can drink liao dad bought vodka n 2 box of beer how nice ^^ drown my sorrows alone... bros dont wana drink tgt with me cuz shi jie dont wan thon at void deck so well drink alone bah haiix life sux... i wana be with her but i dont know why haiix maybe i shd take a break n start afresh maybe nxt time??? she said we can be like frends but she like dont even wana talk now lor wtf... this is called definition of frends... how much more cruel can life get?

got to brush up on studies now maybe i shd jio her again when i get my diploma + entry bah... with shit results like this i cant... got to brush up on mechanics n electronics... ah!!! keep failing like fuck... putting too much effort into a failed r/s seriously ruins my studies haiix wat to do now?? i dono?? gg to drink my vodkaa + beer liao.... hope the future is gg to be better than now

Labels: Frends Between 2 Parties Of a Failed R/S Does'nt Seem To Work Out Even...

Friday, July 4, 2008

talked to vivian ytd abt stuff heard her story she hear mine both sad story but yea she told me some stuff... ah well come to think of it she really woke me up i guess... haha tried my last chance ytd but failed... maybe ur right... i dont know?? life goes on for me n you... trying to move on... shall not msg u anymore... lolol today i tot i saw her at je mrt... freaking hell the gal wear same slippers carry same bag same hair style side view the same... only the eyes were not the same... freak i tot it was her i called her but she at home watching drama haha well maybe i'm hallucinating too fast haha... well life goes on for me... trying my best to move on in life...

had oc presentation today damn nervous fucking scared needa wear until so formal so bo pian tried my best haha well they said i did well but i know i screwed up... i passed electronics with like 56/100?? people are getting 90/98/100 and i'm like 56?? lowest in class again? wtf man life sux haha well gtg study liao too much time might as well study... ltr gg run 5km again zzzzzzzzzz

here are some photos



Hong Jie Xuan Yu Me!!! we look like cock sia



Me And Xuan Yu after presentation lolol i look like a freaking nerd

Labels: Day 1 Of Cold Turkey

Thursday, July 3, 2008

have not sorted myself out... i really dono wat to do... i cry everyday to myself alone... i run 5km so that i get tired to slp easily but wtf i still slept at 3-4am n wake up at 6am to go sch... haiix i seriously dono wat to do... i really miss u i really wana be with u but why?? i dont get it... i cant forget u just like tt... talked to aaron ytd n stuff but still i feel more emo n shag... i really wan u... why cant i be with u!!!! i dont get the chance to get u back cuz u dont wan?? why?? i've nvr once made u sad or anything except the times when we are abt to break... why?!!! u wan this cuz it will do me good?? why!!! u know ur fucking selfish n torturing me?? i really cant forget u... i once posted the r21 edited post its becuz i said too much sad stuff that my frends even asked me to changed it... haiix i dont get it ok!!!! u wan the best for myself but have u ever spared a thought for me?? everytime i see MI gals i think of u? i've done so much for u but i dont get a fucking small chance at all... why! tell me why!! i really feel like drowning myself in alchol n smoking but i cant... haiix wat have i done to deserve this u tell me!

fuck this life
i wanted the best for both us
but u thought it another why
a break up was better for both of us
but why??
is it cuz ur in MI n i'm in SP?
that 2 schools cant be tgt??
i really respected all ur wishes
but it led to this
u've not given urself the chance
is really no feeling the cause of this??
then why were u worred like hell even the week before we broke??
i have so many questions i wan to ask u
but ur so busy with frends
with ur drama
with netball
that i dont get any chance to ask u
is feelings the real reason u broke??
i guess there are some other reasons that u nvr told me
its going to be 1 month already
i cant forget u
but ur enjoying life like i dont exist to u
all the memories we had tgt just arent enuff to get my 2nd chance??
u gave me a chance to get ur feeling back in june
but i only used 1 week of that chance
i really enjoyed life when i was with u
i dono if i can even move on in life
i quitted play arcade, gaming , smoking cuz of u
you were my only one
i dont know why u are so reluctant to give me that chance.
i sacrificed everything for u including my happiness
but now i feel so empty...
i dont know if ur even grateful to this r/s.
i was the 1st guy that spent ur bday with u
to get ur 1st kiss
to get ur hug
who ran all the way to town on a sch day just to get ur bandage n back again
to make u happy when u least expected it.
the past keeps haunting me
cant u just give me another chance??
u nvr once regretted this r/s i'm sure
i'm sure my feelings are just locked in ur heart refusing to come out
i dont know ur true intention but ever since u went into MI u changed to study more
i was happy to hear that
but u kept almost everything to urself
i tried to do my best for u
but did u??
i have too much more things to talk... will post again tmr...

Labels: Why Are You So Reluctant??

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

can someone seriously wake me up?? wtf man i've really been dreaming man... haiix well mechanics test got 28/100.... of all numbers to get it must be 28.... zzzzzz i really cant give u up i'm sry... i dono wat i should do now... everyday i keep thinking of u... i keep wanting to see you... i just wana relive those times... i cant move on in life... i deeply love u from my heart... i dont know wat to do... maybe i should just have pointless waiting??? i've seen so many hot gals but none of them to my liking... i really miss you.... i wish to move on but i cant... my love is too deep... haiix if only i had let go when my feelings were totally 0.... i cry everyday to myself... life is nvr the same without u... even if i find another gal it would be the sub of u i can 100% confirm that i wish this nvr had happen but it did... you forced me into this n i seriously had nth to say... i wan u to be happy but i nvr knew i had to make such a big sacrifice... i dont deserve ur love now... becuz i'm just shit to u... i'm nobody to u... i dont deserve a better gal like u said... i really only wan a gal as unique as u... life sux seriously... life is unfair... good bye i will go through this phase alone... if i still cant forget u by ur bday... i seriously will do smth already.... well all said n done... if i get another chance i'm happy i got ur trust in me back but i doubt i will accept it unless your really serious as well ah well i guess i have to limit myself to msg u i hope i can do this... good bye to all

this is my last post of this blog i wont be posting until i settled down in life...

Labels: Last Post Of This Blog 2/7/08

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

ok today is a freaking malu day for me lah i woke up at like 7 to makan bkfast with my mum at tanglin nearby then end up i went home 8 i decided to take a nap until like 9.30 before go nmakan with my frends then end up i slept all the way until 12.30 lah wtf i missed the breakfast n my oc meeting weeeee how fun... on the way to sch adnan call me say all at orchard watchign movie then ask me go... zzzz end up is all at class waiting for lecturer to come... well cant understand the stupid lesson... seems to be getting harder each time... haiix fail liao... well taking the diploma + prog... gg to learn econs sia sian... her favourite subject is econs n i have to learn it?? weeeeeeeee ok did'nt talk to her today....

my day felt empty.... without her i feel so empty... i feel like crying.... after sch went to lot 1 to find jiahao... met lian bing by chance n helped him buy beer zzzzz i look like 18 sia haha declined to smoke n even take 1 can of beer lolol guai kia sia me... must stop smoking... then went to arcade find jiahao.... lot 1 zone x changed and end up being on the cinema floored played id4 awhile then went home on 173 got this couple doing r21 stuff behind me... could see from the reflection of the glass weee haha ok then went for a 5km jog from my house then 1 big round around the batok nature reserve then back to my hse... well keep thining of her zzzz...kinda tired wana slp but got 2 oc work to do... individual n grp work zzzzz sian...

Labels: I'm Waiting For You

ok well lets see woke up at like 5.30 just to eat again... weeeee bathed then eat then after tt dota with jiahao n played with ben sj leo wj... then read through oc stuff trying to think how to present n get that a1.... i'll be 1st student in the class to get a1!!! haha this oc lecturer aint generous with her marks but i'll make her give it to me lols damn bored now nervous.... i dont wana fail oc... i can present my ideas n stuff but the problem is xuan yu is holding me back... he is that freaking formal guy n stuff n i feel like i cant really get my potential out if he's in my grp... even though i like him doing all the work lah but u know i'm just lazy he's hardworking he's formal n i'm not that formal n i'm a joker... well tmr morning gg bkfast with my old sch mates from btps ask me walk all the way to buisness blk nia siao haha.... ah ben talked to me on msn... he said smth abt love n stuff n really i think i should wait... if she's worth the wait then wait... i really love her n i hope i can do smth to get her back... slowly i can n i will... i trust myself... well gtg liao 1am zzzzzzzz

PROFILE

About yourself.
Name:Nicholas Mok Wenhao
Age:18 AND LEGAL!!!!
Birthday:18/04/1991
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